LIOR - The First Annual Ted the Fed Memorial Trailride

Long Island Off Road Trail Ride

The First Annual Ted the Fed Memorial Trailride
Paragon Adventure Park, Hazleton PA
January 26, 2002
Reported by Doug Abrams

There is an old saying that goes: 'Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.' Our good ‘wheeling buddy and two-time winner of the Most Enthusiastic New Member Award, Ted 'the Fed', has had his wish granted, and is leaving public life for a life of intrigue, danger and maybe even a little crime, when he reports to the FBI to initiate his training on February 10th. He’s been threatening us with this since we’ve known him (hence his moniker), and now has come his moment of truth. So, since we won’t be seeing much of, nor hearing much from Teddy for the next six to eight months we slapped together an impromptu and semiofficial club run to Paragon on January 26th to see if we could get him to pull just one more bonehead move for us before he goes. Ted had to hurry up and finish the latest round of modifications to his TJ, and managed to finish in time to make his own memorial. He pulled his ARB from the rear, put in a Detroit, installed a Dana 44 up front with ¾ ton brakes and re-modeled his roll cage (after his bonehead rollover at Paragon last time, see the September LIOR News).
Ted the Fed - new top, too

We had a fairly light turnout, only seven trucks from LIOR showed for the run, and we were joined by about an equal number from our pals down in Pennsylvania at East Coast 4X4 Experience. Made for a good group, all equipped and all decent drivers. Jerry Lake guided us through Paragon as we did parts of Chicken Run and a little bit of Whompum. Lots of rocks, a few patches of icy snow and a lot of good ‘wheeling.
After gathering and lining up at Paragon’s staging area we took off down the haul road to a turn-off that took us down to the right and into the snowy woods. We waited at the bottom of a steep snow-covered hill as first Jerry and then Bob 2 Jeeps climbed the hill, in the process making the trail so slick that no one else made it up that hill. Bob was hinting at a bonehead award when tore up the trail by flailing up and down the hill in high gear, only realizing that in 4-lo he would have had an easier time getting to the top. After watching Mark S. come down the hill as fast as he went up, only backwards, with his brakes locked, I decided that the go-around was for me. That in itself was kind of cool with a short steep hill climb, followed by a blind downhill into an off-camber ditch curving to the left and back up to the main road.

Doug on Fun Time Here we crossed over the road and went up the hill into a bunch of technically challenging rock gardens. Most of the time the trail was right at the limit of my ground clearance, anything smaller than 33”s would not have cleared most of the obstacles. I needed a lot of spotting, well done by Mark S., excellent spotter, and Johnny “Bulldog”, who graced us with his ugly presence (as a passenger in EE Rex with “Sunshine” Evan). Careful wheel placement was the only way through. I was doing OK, too, until crossing over one pile my rear kicked out to the left and dropped me right on my drive shaft (of the Jeep). I fretted the rest of the day, but when I got back out on the highway it turned out that all was well. Howler
Center it here or tip

Ted the Fed kept getting himself hung up on the rocks, and Chen the Madman nearly earned himself one of those upside down stickers up on these rock piles, kept from going turtle only by the body weight of a couple of guys who jumped on his rig as he started over. Evan managed the only significant damage of the day when he shattered his left front axle, which he easily replaced in about a half hour, bitching and moaning the whole time. Evan
Fun Time? Evan wasn't happy!

Chen
Chen walks the rock garden Dave
Dave from EC4x4E draws a crowd

Bob 2 Jeeps earned himself his second Bonehead Award in as many trail rides. It was near the end of the day and we were actually headed back to the staging area and the trailers to load up and go home, rolling slowly along the sandy ground at the bottom of one the deep old mining cuts when over the radio came one word: “Help!” For some unknown reason, Bob decided to see what would happen if he drove off the sandy exposed ground and out into that white, snowy area with no plants or trees, off to the right. Well, what happens is that you fall through the ice! All he had to do was ask, we would have told him so. So there Bob sat in his nice new white TJ, front end sunk into a pond, water up to his doors. Chen hooked up to him, and after a couple of running start rubber-band bounces managed to yank Bob back out of the water, no harm done, except to Bob’s ego. Dave
Broncomainia on 'The Turtle'

We all rolled out to the trailers, parked out by the water tower, and aired up, re-connected and started loading up the trailers. I was the only one of the group not trailering, was a little funny. Evan decided to duct-tape the doors of EE Rex shut for the ride home because they had kept flying open on the way down. For some reason all the latches don’t line up so perfectly on his Jeep any more. So he got the duct tape all wrapped around his Jeep and the doors nicely taped closed when someone asked him how he was going to get his Jeep up onto the trailer . . .
The ride home was uneventful. We stopped and partook of the fine cuisine offered at the most American of all eating establishments, McDonald’s (stop, eat, get gas), and arrived home around 9:30 PM. A really great day of ‘wheeling, with lots of excitement and nobody got hurt! So, until the next time we meet out on the trails, be good, be careful, and keep it rubber down, paint up.

Our last look at Ted on the trail

There is an old saying that goes: 'Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.' Our good ‘wheeling buddy and two-time winner of the Most Enthusiastic New Member Award, Ted 'the Fed', has had his wish granted, and is leaving public life for a life of intrigue, danger and maybe even a little crime, when he reports to the FBI to initiate his training on February 10th. He’s been threatening us with this since we’ve known him (hence his moniker), and now has come his moment of truth. So, since we won’t be seeing much of, nor hearing much from Teddy for the next six to eight months we slapped together an impromptu and semiofficial club run to Paragon on January 26th to see if we could get him to pull just one more bonehead move for us before he goes. Ted had to hurry up and finish the latest round of modifications to his TJ, and managed to finish in time to make his own memorial. He pulled his ARB from the rear, put in a Detroit, installed a Dana 44 up front with ¾ ton brakes and re-modeled his roll cage (after his bonehead rollover at Paragon last time, see the September LIOR News).	Ted the Fed - new top, too
We had a fairly light turnout, only seven trucks from LIOR showed for the run, and we were joined by about an equal number from our pals down in Pennsylvania at East Coast 4X4 Experience. Made for a good group, all equipped and all decent drivers. Jerry Lake guided us through Paragon as we did parts of Chicken Run and a little bit of Whompum. Lots of rocks, a few patches of icy snow and a lot of good ‘wheeling. After gathering and lining up at Paragon’s staging area we took off down the haul road to a turn-off that took us down to the right and into the snowy woods. We waited at the bottom of a steep snow-covered hill as first Jerry and then Bob 2 Jeeps climbed the hill, in the process making the trail so slick that no one else made it up that hill. Bob was hinting at a bonehead award when tore up the trail by flailing up and down the hill in high gear, only realizing that in 4-lo he would have had an easier time getting to the top. After watching Mark S. come down the hill as fast as he went up, only backwards, with his brakes locked, I decided that the go-around was for me. That in itself was kind of cool with a short steep hill climb, followed by a blind downhill into an off-camber ditch curving to the left and back up to the main road.

Ted the Fed kept getting himself hung up on the rocks, and Chen the Madman nearly earned himself one of those upside down stickers up on these rock piles, kept from going turtle only by the body weight of a couple of guys who jumped on his rig as he started over. Evan managed the only significant damage of the day when he shattered his left front axle, which he easily replaced in about a half hour, bitching and moaning the whole time.	Fun Time? Evan wasn't happy!
Chen walks the rock garden	Dave from EC4x4E draws a crowd
Bob 2 Jeeps earned himself his second Bonehead Award in as many trail rides. It was near the end of the day and we were actually headed back to the staging area and the trailers to load up and go home, rolling slowly along the sandy ground at the bottom of one the deep old mining cuts when over the radio came one word: “Help!” For some unknown reason, Bob decided to see what would happen if he drove off the sandy exposed ground and out into that white, snowy area with no plants or trees, off to the right. Well, what happens is that you fall through the ice! All he had to do was ask, we would have told him so. So there Bob sat in his nice new white TJ, front end sunk into a pond, water up to his doors. Chen hooked up to him, and after a couple of running start rubber-band bounces managed to yank Bob back out of the water, no harm done, except to Bob’s ego.	Broncomainia on 'The Turtle'
We all rolled out to the trailers, parked out by the water tower, and aired up, re-connected and started loading up the trailers. I was the only one of the group not trailering, was a little funny. Evan decided to duct-tape the doors of EE Rex shut for the ride home because they had kept flying open on the way down. For some reason all the latches don’t line up so perfectly on his Jeep any more. So he got the duct tape all wrapped around his Jeep and the doors nicely taped closed when someone asked him how he was going to get his Jeep up onto the trailer . . . The ride home was uneventful. We stopped and partook of the fine cuisine offered at the most American of all eating establishments, McDonald’s (stop, eat, get gas), and arrived home around 9:30 PM. A really great day of ‘wheeling, with lots of excitement and nobody got hurt! So, until the next time we meet out on the trails, be good, be careful, and keep it rubber down, paint up.