The Gutter
March 20, 2010
by Evan Silverman
We just got back from the marathon that we refer to as our March
Trail Ride and now it is time for me to write my monthly trail report.
So as part of my routine I try to think of what I am going to write in
my report as I am wheeling. I try to catch all that is going on and
think of some humorous things to write. I was trying to think of a
title for my repot. I was thinking of A Tale of Two Trails (It was the
best of times, it was the worst of times), From Here to Eternity, The
Longest Day, The Never Ending Trail Ride. As it got dark and we were
still deep in the woods I started thinking LIOR Chainsaw Massacre or
worse yet Deliverance. Anyway after much contemplation I decided on a
classic, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
The Good
Instead of a straight-up story in chronological order, I am going to
write the story in three parts, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Harbor Freight: My father and I along with new member Howie
stopped at Harbor Freight and got some great deals on some tools, some
needed and some not, but I could not pass up the deal.
The Weather: For the whole weakend (ride up, trail ride and
ride home) was just spectacular. Probably the best weather that we
will see all year. Clear sunny and 70. It does not get any better.
The Food: Starting with Bubs Barbeque, a large contingent
of the club met Friday night at the Red Roof Inn and went to Bubs for
dinner. Special Note: Bubs also served fish so that some of our
devout Christian friends did not break lent. Then of course there was
the club cookout on the trail which was great as usual. Once again we
all hung out shooting the s--t and eating meat as the kids got to run
around , stretch their legs and play with the new toys that Wes's new
friend Howie bought for them at the Harbor.
Early Start: Once again we left for the trail on time, we
did not get lost or separated. Maybe the LIOR tardiness curse is
broken.
The trail: I think this is a great trail or should I say
trails because it is a two trails in one, the main power line trail
which is great for open trucks with small lifts and tires and what is
called the light bulb which is a large loop through the woods and back
on the power line which contains obstacles that would entertain buggy
drivers.
The People: I think that we have a club that we can really
be proud of. Besides our leadership who do a great job that they are
not paid for and keep the club going, our club really works as a
team when times get tough. We don't always make the right decision but in the
end we all get out of the woods. When there is a problem we chip in to
resolve it.
We give parts to others that need them, we help others
repair their vehicles, we lend tools, food and supplies. I really feel
that we are there for each other
The Turn Out: I think we had the whole club at this event
or at least it seemed like it. So many I lost count but I would say over
18 rigs.
The Bad
The Trail Was Blocked: We were hoping to take the power
lines down to the road and
go across the street and try a section that is usually too snow covered
to attempted but the
power lines were blocked towards the end of the trail by a construction
crew so we opted to turn around and do the light bulb.
Doing The Light Bulb: After a long winter and now
experiencing and early summer
we were not ready to go home so we decided to do the light bulb. That
in itself was not a bad
decision, but the fact that we rated the trail stock and decided to go
into this section of
trail with the whole group was. I am not blaming anyone, In fact I
said we could get the
less modified rigs through this section, but it was much tougher than
expected..
Buying Stuff At Harbor Freight: I am a firm believer in
buying American, but when
American companies are now making there stuff in china, what is the
difference if
I buy craftsmen made in china or Harbor Freight made in china, except
the Harbor is MUCH CHEAPER.
The Ugly
Carnage: We had a ton of carnage. So much that I don't
probably know all of it
and some of it the owners of their rigs will find out about when they
crawl under their trucks.
Here is a partial list:
Bills XJ did not go into low range but
thankfully a quick adjustment of
the shifter linkage fixed it.
Amanda severs a tie rod on her XJ, but
luckily Brain had an extra for his ZJ
which is the same and with JC jumping under the truck and Bob acting as
delivery truck, she was up
and running in no time flat.
Shawn's XJ severed a tie rod. Luckily I
had another spare to offer. Shawn
was also up and running pretty quickly.
Amanda whales her XJ into a
tree with the front of her truck on a greasy hill climb. She loses
her front header
panel including headlights.
Dad
(Mark) blows a front axle pulling Amanda up greasy boulder climb. (She is
open with kinda worn tires but she gave it a hell of a try).
As we are fixing dads axle, maybe 15 minutes, Trevor tries the hard way
up, winching the whole way
denting his mint and over built LJ, ripping off a mirror and ruining
his steel winch cable. He also lost a rear brake line latter in the
night.
Now
I wanted to show Trevor up in my Station Wagon and tried to squeeze
between to trees and pass him, but the trees
did not like that idea and punished me. I dented my right front fender
and then right rear quarter and
the roof on the right side, luckily not breaking any glass. Emma did
not like that I was smashing
her side of the truck.
Brian in his ZJ tries to go up where Trevor
went and took out both right doors.
Amanda blows a tire. Brian blows a tire.
John Carter smashes a rocker
and dents his tail gate on his
clean Toyota 4-runner (his Toyota does not seem to accelerate on its
own, I guess they still made a
good product back then).
Shawn rips bumper end caps off, some exhaust
damage and broken
motor mount.
I believe all the highly modified 94 inch wheel base
trucks came out unscathed except for
dads axle. I am sure there were some other dents and bruises but that
is all I can remember.
The Dark: We had to squeeze through a gauntlet of trees, and
find the right trails in the pitch dark.
with a large group. It is hard enough to keep a group together in the
woods during the day but it is near
impossible in the dark and poor Amanda had no lights. Jake had to walk
the whole way out with flash
light in hand guiding Amanda through the gauntlet.
Gymnastics: When Amanda's XJ broke it's tie rod Brian, his
friend and
I jumped in the back of the Howler to get a ride back down the trail.
I new it
was not a great idea. Well Brian
thought Bob was stopped for good (he thought, first problem) and stood
up. Bob
went to move again and Brain looked like an Olympic gymnast with what
looked
like a triple back flip. His form was pretty good, but not his
landing. He just missed
his head and landed on his shoulder. I am glad he is young because I
would have been down for the count.
11:00 P.M.: Time we left the woods
The Gutter: This place does not seem to like to let us
leave it at a reasonably time.
Nothing Is Being Made In The USA: We are killing our
country buying import products.
Monday Blues: Going back to work after a weekend of
wheeling
sucks.
Final notes
I still had a great time. I like the adventure of
being stuck in the woods at night but it was a
little drawn out, even for me.
I feel a little responsible for dragging
some trucks through something that they
were not prepared for. Less experienced people trust the more
experienced club members with their
safety and well being and I feel we let them down a little and for that
I apologize. That being said, I feel we
need to call ourselves a hard core club and list all club rides as
such. We can describe them as easier
or harder but you have to be prepared for the worst because we don't
always know what we are in for.
I also
think that we should steer all members towards getting a winch (not
mandate put highly recommend). This is not
meant as a shot towards anyone,
it is just a fact that sometimes the only thing that can get you out of
a jam is your own winch. In all motor
sports there are pieces of equipmeant you must have, and a winch is a
must for off roading.
To all those that attended This months Good, Bad and Ugly run, I
hope you had fun because that is
what this is all about. For those that did not attend I hope to see
you next month. I would like to thank
everyone for the chance to practice my creative writing and publicly
voice some of my opinions
Hard luck award definitely goes to Amanda. She was really a
good sport.
I would have been a lot more pissed than she seemed. I hope she still
feels that way. Now she can learn to drive Jake's manual trans Toyota.
Bone head goes clearly to Brian for his back flip and destroying
his doors trying to follow Trevor.
Evan
P.S. All winches worked, some harder than others including
one
Chinese H.F. winch.