NOVA TrailFest
August 21-22, 2010
by Evan Silverman
TrailFest: A Weekend of Excess
Due to my weekend of excess, my trail report is probably not up to par. We ate in excess, drank in excess, sleeped a little, had agreat day of wheeling at the Gutter, ate steaks in excess and drank a lot more in excess, slept a little bit more, had another great day of wheeling at Dead Fall, drank some more, ate some more,drank some more and went to sleep relatively early. We went home.
A yeah we had to rebuild Jakes early Bronco carb at the trail head to the gutter just to get it to idle but then the power steering failed ending its day. Also Brains ZJ broke an axle in the creek bed. We did and excessive amount of winching and Bobs Superwinch seems OK so I guess his battery really was the problem last month. Joe Lavanti drives Blue Jay like he borrowed it, oh yea he did it is owned by Andrew. Hopefully when Andrew comes back from school his Jeep will be in relatively one piece. Joe is climbing trees, slamming the diffs on rocks and testing the integrity of all the skid plates and making sure the winch works. Note(The winch seemed to work like it had a case of sweaty balls. I think that Chinese built T Max is done. Joe should craigslist it and buy Dimitri's new Warn. More on that latter) We seemed to have and excessive amount of flat tires and did I say we winched. Unfortunately I can't say Superwinch failed, O what the hell Superwinch failed, Superwinch failed Superwinch failed. I love saying that. We winched a lot with many brands used and they all worked. Did I mention that Joe beat the hell out of Andrew's Jeep. Unlike most of our expeditions out to the Gutter, we actually got off the trail at a reasonable time. We will really miss this trail. It became one of our best trails.
Our Steak dinner seemed to go great. Due to the excessive alcohol consumed, not every thing is clear, but I know that no cops were called no one was hurt and I was not hungry, so that sounds good to me. The only thing clear in my mind is the picture of Joe beating the hell out of Andrew's Jeep. One last thing that I want to mention is that Ed Marcucci or Eliot or Mr Parlimenry or what ever the hell his name is did not bring his jeep or take part in any part of trail fest, but true to his word he showed up the the steak diner, I think.
The next morning we got up early and headed to the scenic parking by the trail head for Dead Fall. Due to the excessive driving that we had to do to get to both trails and the excessive thirst of Mat's excessively powerful LT1 V8, his rig ran out of fuel. My family and I in the Station Wagon had to tow Mat up some excessively steep hills to a gas station. We still were the first ones to arrive at the trail head. The rest of our crew and trail guide showed up a few minutes later. Jake pulled his early Bronco off his trailer just to find out he had no steering, so back on the trailer it went. Jake had some weakend towing his Bronco all over Mass.
Our trail guide Rick was in a highly modified FJ40 on 39 inch tires and my family and I were behind him in the Station Wagon on those tiny 33 inchers. The first obstacle the FJ walked right up. You know me, I don't like to be showed up, even when I am out gunned so I used excessive throttle to get up the obstacle in one shot with my left front axle paying the price. The axle broke on the inside so at the time I was not sure what broke but I stilled had 3 wheel drive and kept going. Some people made this obstacle, some winched and some never even tried it. I don't want to embarrass anyone so I wont say that Roy and Stephanie took the go around. I believe a few others also took the go around, but Roy and Stephanie are on 35's and locked so that is why I did not want to mention that Roy and Stephanie did not even try it so I won't embarrass them. Did I mention 35's and locked. The rest of the day had some awesome obstacles with some winching especially by me and my damaged rig. There was some more use of go arounds and we had and early departure leaving some good obstacles behind. We had to make the reception at the Holiday Inn that night. O did I mention that Joe beat the hell out of Andrew's Jeep and that Stephanie and Roy took the go around. (If I should disappear have the police question Roy and check his back yard for any freshly dug soil..
After Dead Fall we went back to the camp ground and had a few drinks. We went to the banquet where we drank some more, ate some more and then proceeded to clean up at the raffle and win an excessive amount of prizes. We won 2 $50 gift certificates, a tire deflator kit, a Highlift jack condom, an ugly jacket, a hitch receiver shackle, a $500 gift certificate for Mickey Thompson tires, and the Holy Grail of all off road events Dmitri won the Warn winch. The banquet ended right after LIOR took the winch and all the cool prizes. We headed back to the camp ground
Back at the camp ground we you guessed it, drank some more, but we actually went to bed early but not before Connie and Ed gave us some advise on perking up our sex lives. Those two are real sicko's no wonder Ed goes by so many names. Ed the stud holmes and his magic mushroom pump.
The next morning we left and headed to Cracker Barrel and ate some more but no drinking and luckily we did not hit excessive traffic and went home.
until next month see ya.
Evan