From the Back Seat

by Bark R. Woof


Big Guy dragged me off the warm bed just too darned early, and, after a quick squat and a round of marking my home turf, prodded me up into my nest in the back of his blue Cherokee. We gathered at the flat place until there were 21 vehicles. That's higher than most of us can count ! Me? I just know one and more than one; but then again, I stay in the back seat. Looking around at all the trucks, I knew this would be a looong day before I got back to my big warm bed.

At first the trail was nice, mild, not too many jolts to toss me around the back of the Cherokee. Then the fun began, as we dropped down off the old railroad grade into the woods. We bounced down the twisty road until we were stopped by a tree across the road. I peed on it, then they got out the noise-maker; man when that thing cut on, it was feets don't fail me now. I waited in the safety of the Jeep until they cut the tree and dragged it off the trail. We rolled on down to a couple of interesting little whoop-de-doos of slag from the old mining operation that operated on this mountain in the past, then I got rolled to the back of the Jeep as Big Guy blasted up a short steep hill. I took a little nap here, as all the other big guys stood around watching our trail guide throw rocks down the hill at us with his tires. When he got tired of that, he pulled a big leash out of the front of his Jeep and pulled himself up to the top of the hill. In fact, everyone who played on that hill needed a leash to get up to the top. I know my butt was getting cold, sitting there, watching all those guys throwing rocks down the hill. All the smart ones just went back up the road (like us) and around the hill.

Next thing I know, we're starting uphill again, twisting up to another pretty level, even stretch, a little bumpy, but not too tough. After a little while I hear the words "streambed", and, well, me and water don't mix too well. All that happened was the ride got real rough: turns out there was no water in this streambed, just a long stretch of really jumbled rocks and boulders. After we finished this stretch we climbed up to fairly open area and turned off the Jeep. I must say, by this time I was getting pretty hungry, and so were all the two-legged guys by the way they were grumbling. We started to eat our lunches, and I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their sandwiches and sweet-treats with me. I know I'm hard to resist, and we dogs do have begging down to an art.

We're sitting there eating and word comes in through the squawk boxes that Tan Whale has gone lame. My first thought was "Can we eat it now?" but Big Guy reminded me it would not be a good thing to eat. After a while a few of the drivers got bored and headed up the hill to find some trouble. Which is just what they found. Willie scared himself playing on the rock pile, and Jay . . . well, lets just say Jay gets the Bonehead Award (did I hear bone?) for researching the new Toyota rear-end quick-disconnects. Reconnecting takes a little longer than the disconnect, right, Jay? Big Guy skipped the rock pile and headed up for a last pretty challenging slick-rock obstacle. This was one where y'just hadda put a little git-along behind you before you hit the rock, and up and over you'd go. When we got up to the top, we got out to watch the other drivers and I found the perfect place to stand to watch, dead center between two big rocks. Next thing I know, some not-Jeep is aiming to make me a new hood-ornament, and I just barely escaped by leaping over behind Big Guy. Gotta be alert out here, or you could become trail-pizza pretty fast.

After a while we rolled back down the hill, twisting around a variety of trails to we all eventually ended up back on the railroad grade. As we rolled back onto the pavement, heading for the meeting area to air up and reconnect stuff, all I could think about was a steak, or maybe a big steaming bowl of fresh turkey, and the big bed back home. Sleep sounded good, and I drifted off to the hum of the highway. See you all on the trail next time, and remember, keep all four paws on the ground and your furry-side up.

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